"just wear it"

getting rid of the idea that we just can't pull something off

I was recently helping a friend clean out her closet when she pulled out this gorgeous vintage fur coat her mom had given her. It was instantly one of my favorite pieces in her closet. But when she held it up, she didn’t seem excited. She said, “I just never know how or when to wear this.”

I was genuinely confused. To me, she could wear it with anything. Throw it over jeans and a tee shirt and suddenly you have a great look. “Just wear it,” I said. She laughed and told me that seemed to be my motto for everything in her closet she loved but never felt comfortable wearing.

And I know it’s much easier said than done. We build up stories in our heads that something is “too much” or that we “can’t pull it off.” A lot of it comes from not wanting to be looked at and judged. From the fear of seeming overdressed or like we’re trying too hard. But the truth is, most people aren’t thinking about it at all. And if they are? It’s probably admiration. Personally, if I saw someone in a gorgeous coat like that, I’d be thinking how cool she looked.

So how do we trick ourselves into wearing what we actually like instead of what feels safe?

First, if one piece feels outside of your comfort zone, pair it with your favorite pieces in your closet. The things you already wear all the time act as a kind of anchor. If the coat, shoe, or dress feels bold, grounding it with your go-to jeans, your favorite sweater, or the boots you wear every week can make the whole outfit feel much more like you. It also helps take the pressure off the piece itself, instead of feeling like a full “look,” it just becomes another part of an outfit you already know you like.

Another trick is repetition. The first time you wear something that feels a little outside your comfort zone, you might feel hyper aware of it. But the second time is easier. By the third or fourth time, it simply becomes part of your wardrobe. What once felt like a statement piece starts to feel normal.

Third, start with low-stakes moments. Instead of saving the piece for the “right” event, where you feel so much more pressure to look perfect, wear it in the most ordinary version of your day — grabbing coffee, running errands, or meeting a friend. When you remove the pressure of a big occasion, it’s much easier to experiment.

And finally, if the statement piece you are trying to style is a bold print or color, try pairing it with other colors rather than defaulting to an all-white or all-black base. While black and white can make something feel safer, they can also make the statement piece feel even more obvious. When you mix it with other colors, even subtle ones like denim, camel, olive, or soft pastels, the whole outfit starts to feel more balanced and intentional. Instead of the piece standing out, it becomes part of a larger story, which often makes it much easier to wear.

For example, this red sweater feels more toned down paired with a burgundy pant rather than if it was paired with a white jean.